As I get older I am realizing and understanding things more clearly and many things do not bother me anymore. Many things also do not make sense to me as well. My relationship is more than likely going to end and I feel that is for the best. I am not happy at all in the relationship and it is not satisfying me on an emotional, spiritual, or sexual level that I am comfortable with. I am not bothered by the idea of being single because sometimes a little alone time is all that one needs in order to reevaluate things and get a new perspective. Everything I do is for my kids and I do not feel that we are on the same page where that is concerned. I am tired of the petty arguments and the lies as if I am insane. I can no longer deal with that and the name calling when I do not agree or point out something he and I both know he just did. I’m 26, he is 33. I thought an older man would be a lot more mature than the men in my age group but I am sadly learning that age is truly just a number when it comes to adults ever reaching maximum maturity. I understand that no one is perfect. I also know that a person is supposed to grow and develop into a better and more productive human as they gain more life experience on this green earth. I make it a point to develop myself on constant basis. I read almost as much as I breathe. I love taking in new information and learning from the books that I have read. Especially when it comes to parenting and living a greener and more organic lifestyle. I have a few goals that I am trying to accomplish and that is keeping me motivated. Attending law school is definitely on my list of things to do in the next 2 years. My career will be set after that. I’ve been studying and finding mentors to help me with my journey. In time everything will work itself out. Being the best mother that I can be is always, always in my mind and I strive to do better. I do not have all the answers but that is where learning comes into play. My children need a mother who is happy. My children need to see mommy smile and be the life of our little party. I deserve to be happy and I should never put my happiness aside to make another person comfortable in their skin.